Recording Myself ?

Possibly ,…
I am so used to recording everyone else , and I haven’t even tried to really record me .
I recently bought a guitar for the studio , that has an amazing sound to it and plays good.

I spent most of this morning transferring audio from a Recent shoot , 4 days long involving Technology is about all I am allowed to say , (NDA stuff)

As I was setting up folders and doing transfers while waiting for the DATA to move from the recorder to the HDD ,  I picked up said guitar and put it in DADGAD tuning and let certain current emotions fly on their own …….

I ended up playing for about 2 and a half hours ( DATA being long finished ) and with sore fingers and a somewhat satisfied feeling , I put it back in the case …

But left with the thought ,….  That I was sitting , ….in a recording studio with a shitload of microphones ……… why wasn’t I recording something ?

Why haven’t I ever recorded myself ? ……………….( I have my suspicions , ….)

Esteem issues and other stuff …

But I love recording ,….. The gift of sound …. and I have an artist who comes to my studio and we are making an EP for her that is 4 songs all of which are really good .

they are almost finished …..

Why haven’t I recorded me ?



Trying to Keep a Ship straight

when going thru the worst storms in your life , …..
“I had a crappy childhood” would be an understatement in the worst way , but what the real issues are is you never realize just how deep the scars go and how far you carry them without knowing it , you just live as you can and keep going , until you hit a wall .

about 3 maybe 4  years ago , I hit that wall without realizing what was happening to me , and the downward spiral began , to the point that around 2 years ago I tried to end it all .

someone stopped me in the process .

Over the past half a year or more , I have been through an emotional rollercoaster that I could never have anticipated in any way ….. some of it good some of it not so good .

there has been an unwilling friend in all of the past half a year that unbenunced to them caught me just as I was falling apart , and I could not be more embarrassed or sorry , but they stuck around ,…. …. and I saw light .

Light , from a darkened cave that had me prisoner for a very long time .

And with the world outside as crazy as it is , with all the bad things happening , it is easy to see how many could be caught into a whirlpool of negativity and depression .

How precious then is someone who takes a moment to get it …. to just simply listen .

I hope that one day they will realize what they did for me ,

Telling a person just embarrasses them sometimes , and especially when It wasn’t their choice …………  but the gratefulness will never change



About to …..

Go thru a Massive Unfriending on Facebook .

Real People …. who respect you , who value you . Do you know who they actually are ?

Isn’t it worth it , to know who they are , or are we as humans now content with everything fake ……  What you are content with is what you will have .


Quantity vs Quality ……..

I am getting too pigeon holed in this country to feel comfortable with my situation at times . I have done a lot of things for a lot of people … some of it free . Much of it Bargain , yet appreciation is severely limited . In fact quite cold . But that is the side of Tokyo that many will never see as Tourists , You have to live here to see it .

Just today I let go of 6 people . more tomorrow . Will not hesitate to remove someone at this point . Even close acquaintances who hesitate to affirm the relationships we have …..
I need to know … and if it means burning bridges so be it .

Getting older and not so much wiser

I have people try to take what I know , steal knowledge if they can , take jobs that would be mine .
But what I know is mine . I will share only so much , and choose whom I share it with .

There is one person whom I would share everything I know with . But that is a different story altogether and will remain mine alone .

Audio is an art , it really is , and a skill . But you have to recognize it as an Art not just skill . Skill alone is sterile and has no feeling or emotion , it is just a system or a way of doing something . As an Art combined with skill , then it is something altogether different , it becomes a living part of something , filled with emotion and power .

I have had an artist coming to my studio whom I feel very strongly about , their dedication , their heartfelt involvement with the songs , attention to detail , knowing exactly what they want from the song ……  such a breath of fresh” air ”

right now recording is on hold, being contemplated , distance of travel , time , scheduling and other tensions,  I am in an inconvenient location , and have to meet other needs myself .
I so hope though , that this one continues to fruition , these songs deserve to be heard, and must get recorded properly with the emotion they deserve as well , because they are definitely not sterile .

I am in need of patience , and the right words to encourage said artist . And myself as well , as this project will not be an easy one for either one of us.

But I will give my all to make it happen if they can see their way through the fog .

I owe it to this person, I owe a great deal to this person