Really Screwed up news …..

We all look back , You know you do to .  But most of the friends I had before the internet existed in its modern WWW form .  Were a Different type of people .

When I was 16 – 19 , I had a group of friends around me that helped me deal with some very very difficult things in life , They were Family to me as that My Real Family wasn’t ,…. Just Wasn’t .

I have with the search abilities of the Internet tried my very best to track down all of these people . I found info Mostly obituaries , one by one ….  Overdoses , Murdered , Car Accidents , Missing , and others .

I found one this morning that set me in a bit of a spin . J.T.S. the 3rd  ….   Feb 6 , 2013 .

There are two names inscribed under a Tattoo on my Arm . We all three had the same Ink , yet with each others Initials .  The First JD …. Was Addicted to Meth Amphetamine , or Crystal Meth .

Life started moving past him faster than he could adjust to . at 19 He Took his own life , he was the first of the Group of friends to go . He was also one of the closest to me , like a Little Brother .

The Other name on my Arm was the news this morning .

There were many women in my life at that time , one ,.Rachel , I never found , but her ex Husband was one of those who never let a chip fall off of his shoulder ,…. There isn’t any info of her anywhere on the net I have searched every dark corner for over 15 years ……  It just doesn’t stand to reason that she still is alive . But I cared about her more than she will ever know , There isn’t a day that goes by without me thinking about her . But my heart tells me she is gone .

All the others I actually found info except for one Her name is Cindy , She joined the Peace Corp and went to Ecuador I think .

But this morning I read the Obituary of “JTS III” as it is inscribed on my Right Arm .

He is gone ,………. I am the only one left of the whole group as far as I know . and I am only 47 years old .   Not 80-90 Old and Grey with actual reasons for friends dropping off .

47 …… Let that soak into your head for a second .  At 47 , all my friends from Denison Tx , in 1983 -84  .   Are gone , there won’t be any reunions , There won’t be any phone calls , there won’t be any drinks , There won’t be any sharing of the times we were so stoned we couldn’t make it to fridge to cure the munchies .  But it wasn’t Pot that took them . It was Life , it was Society , It was Pain , and Stress and Violence .  It was the things they couldn’t control .  And I am left alone now . The real connections the people who helped me heal from abusive Parents ( Step Dad that was a Monster and a Mother who simply didn’t care enough to defend me and Abandoned me )  My Real Dad was a Cool dude ,. a real man . but I only knew him from a distance . The one year I had with him was in Germany in 1977 -78 , it was a great year , the only good year of my entire childhood .

In 1982 I was able to go live with my Real Dad , because I wasn’t welcome in my Mothers house , but that happiness was to be short lived , 6 months …… that was all I had , and in the summer of 1982 , My Dad got sick , and never got better . He died . I was walking into the Hospital corridor on the 6th floor  into his room just as they were pulling the sheets over his face ….  My World shattered into a billion pieces , and I have never been able to find them all .  I left that place and ended up in Denison TX .   That group of friends ,…… They helped me survive . They Helped me heal and find a reason to live again.  There were the girls . I remember each of them . There were no Commitments , they didn’t want any . but they shared themselves with me . They cared about me when no one else had . I remember you all of you , but Rachel ….. I loved you .  You were more than a Lover , you were a friend and a comfort for a very very dark place in my life , I will never forget you  Thumper .

Cindy ,  We were ,…only once ,  physically involved but it seemed our minds met on a different plane …. Thank you .  Thank you for your intelligence , Thank you for your Beauty , your Natural sense of things . Your self confidence , because you shared that with me , you gave me confidence , when I had none , it had all been ripped away from me .  I still remember that Chess Game . You had me distracted , You won’t win like that again . If your still around , I would absolutely love to have a rematch . But … I can’t find you either .

I shed Tears this morning , alone here in my room . My Mind going back to a time where we lived with passion , and we truly gave a shit about each other . We were each other support , we were each others truth , we were each others …… we belonged to each other .

I miss you …. all of you .   Horribly so .

At 47 ,…. I shouldn’t be reading these obituaries , I should be reading your successes , your failures , your blogs , your life stories , I should be hearing your music . I should be drinking with you .

At 47 ……..

JTS the III , at that time you were an Asshole ,  a Self Centred and Deluded Asshole , but you were still my Friend . You joined the Military and went off to travel the world , and became someone else .  And I never got to meet the new you . I only found out about the New you …. By Reading your Obituary ,…. See , I told you , you were a selfish ass ….. You wouldn’t even let me see the changes .

But I will have a Dram of very good Whiskey for you …. I will drink , I will remember , I will cry . just as I am doing right now .   I am truly alone now , the last of that group , that time , that Strength , that passion , That Music , My 220 watt per channel Audio setup with my Cerwin Vega D7 speakers , that House , where we sorted thru bags of pot and kegs of beer . where we sat at the Kitchen table and declared that we were Brothers , and Took a Home Made Tattoo gun and Scribed our Initials in each Others Arms under a Unicorn Design that I drew while so stoned I couldn’t see straight , My cat Ninja , who beat the crap out the Tattoo guys dog , Funniest thing we ever saw .

….. I am the last ….

It just feels like my world has crashed down around me again .

But this is a painful world to live in for truthful people , and I know your pain is over . That is the one comfort I take .  Because there isn’t any other way to deal with it .

I miss you , all of you

I hate the internet ,…… for showing me this . That there is nothing left of what really truly meant something to me .

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Oh and Japan , You really need to change your views about Tattoos , Because you understand Nothing . It has absolutely nothing to do with Yakuza , or Bosozoku , for the people outside of your tiny mindset , They have meaning and history . They Symbolise things that are very important to the person wearing it .

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A Gift I Got from a Friend

The Cry Baby ,….. History of everything the Electric Guitar Sound came to be . Jimi Hendrix , Stevie Ray Vaughn , Pink Floyd , If you don’t have a Wah , You don’t get the sound .
My Friend gave me a few pedals he isn’t going to use anymore as that he bought new gear . So He Gave me a couple Zoom Pedals , the G2.1nu , and the MG50 , But down in the bottom of the bag is a Piece of History .

The Cry Baby Wah …… This is its history .

THX Dude …. You Da Man.

Google Plus = Spam

At least in my Mailbox it will from now on , I am marking ALL invitations as spam .

Thank you Google for being such an anachronistic , self assumptive and self absorbed type of business . I really used to think you were cool , Your not . Youtube Video can’t even stream correctly on a 100Mb+ internet connection . What no Proof ?

Ok , I tried to load a 58 minute video that was only 360p in resolution , It wouldn’t even stream , But I control click and downloaded the video in less than 8 seconds , so do not tell me you can’t stream it . I am watching it in QT now thank you , Oh yeah Without ads ……. Bet you hate that don’t you .

Google fix your attitude , you will do much better than you think you are doing .

Art of the Sabre ( Art of the Story)

This Film was done with a Sony Handy Cam , in the Forests near Fredericksburg VA. The Ho Brothers . I knew one of them from when I lived in Richmond VA , and was in and out of the Martial Arts field . Clarence and his brother are two Dragons intertwined. But this about Film and Acting and using what you have available to you . Although this is a short film it is powerful . Filled with Emotion and Imagery that tells a story . That is what film is about not just simply putting, just anything,.. up to show your friends . You Tube is full of crap , but it is also full of Gems when you look , These are Real Artists who had something real to present . They used the Equipment they could get , No Big production crew , No Pro TV camera . No real Budget either .
This Video has been out for a long time , The Original was one of the first Youtube videos . Star Wars Fan Films range the entire gamut , some of them are amazing . Whatever Film you do , If your doing a theme , Do It with passion , don’t just throw anything out there , Take the time to make something out of it .
There are those of us Who actually enjoy a really well told story .

I hate being Broke…….

(UPDATED)   Item Received , and in my Possession YAY!!!

 

But when the Money isn’t there , it just isn’t there , Seems like Nobody has any , No repair work really coming in , No Recording jobs . And I am just so close to getting my system just the way I want it . Next of the purchase list is what is called a Stage Box , or Snake . But not just any type .

Most snakes are designed for Multi Channel interfaces or Say for example Full drum kit mike setups etc.  These are Bigger boxes .

What I want is extremely portable and designed for location recording . I was going to build it , But after calculating the costs it would actually cost me more to build it that to buy the design I want .   I have a Roland R44 , and Love it , one of the best purchases I have made . But carrying around 4 REALLY long Mike cables is a Weighty task so to speak , So 1 long Cable with a Box on the end with 4 XLR plugs and 2 TRS ( Stereo Headphone access) plugs was what I had in mind .

Enter the HOSA Little Bro 6×2 , Breakout box .  Almost exactly what I was looking to do , but with 2 extra channels input .

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Yep I have to get this …… Must …… Get .

 

UPDATE  , It is in my gear bag

Scattergrass is on iTunes

Scattergrass is on iTunes

(Click The Red )

I Mastered this Album , and it is Good Fun , Great Harmony and some serious Pickin and Grinnin .

This is a Package of music , that belongs in any Acoustic Musicians MP3 Player or whatever device your using .

As that I Mastered it , I have the 24 Bit version on my HDD ( Insert Smiley Face here )

But I have the CD as well . I have mine Go get yours NOW!!!

It really is good .

Scatter

Sick of Google…….

Yeah I have Gmail , yeah I have Youtube ( Way before Google bought it )

Yeah , I used to be on G+ , Twice actually and  Left too .  I am Not on G+ , But with Googles new policy , anyone on G+ can Mail me or invite me to Hangouts ….and I am getting tons of Unwanted mail .

I click the Unsub link , select the Do Not Mail Me , circle , and hit the Save Settings button , not once , oh no no no …… 372 times ….. Just sat there Reclicking as many times as I could because this had gone on for more than a week .

If my Gmail address wasn’t on my Business Cards , and associated with my very being , I would ditch Google altogether right now this very minute .

Not that I didn’t meet some very cool people on G+ , They are indeed there , but the Privacy policies , the other technologically skilled shall we say ?  are also there .

Google , Lets get this straight , I am not coming back to G+ OK?  Do you get it ?  How do I make that any clearer ?   NO means NO .   You pissed me off with messing up Youtube . I cannot even comment on my OWN channel , because it isn’t associated with G+ .  You know what , That is NOT the way to get me join anything . I will effing blow shit up when I am forced into a corner like that .

My More important videos will start going to Vimeo . Already set that up . Already set up a new email on iCloud .  With my Business name .  The Harder you push Google the more you will lose .

The Numbers you gain may say one thing , but that will not be the truth . There are a Lot of people beginning to actually hate you .

Google used to be cool ,….. you are definitely Not that anymore .

It says on my Google profile that I am not on G+ , so why do people on G+ have access to my email ?   I did not give you that permission .